Developing your self-worth expands your real value

Awareness on self-worth

These days, valorization is often done in monetary or any other economic validation. However, realizing your self-worth has nothing to do with checking your bank balance

or your economic significance, it is about you, the person you truly are in life. We give others respect, love and consideration (most of us do, I presume, and if you don’t you should practice more) but how often do we give ourselves what is due? How you value yourself is based on the self-esteem you have. Your self-esteem shows you how much you truly value yourself. Healthy self-esteem leads to more independence, more happiness, greater flexibility, the ability to adapt easily to change, being open to co-operation and a general positive outlook on any situation. Unhealthy or low self-esteem on the other hand leads only to irrational thoughts, unhappiness, fear of the new, rigidity, defensiveness and a negative outlook on life in general.

How we see ourselves has a lot to do with how others perceive us. If you are looking happy, smiling and full of confidence then others see you as someone they want to be around. If we respect ourselves and portray this then others will respect us more too. Ater all, how can you ask for respect from others if you don’t even respect yourself? So, finding and developing your self-worth is all about developing your self-esteem, so let’s take a look at that so-called self-esteem and how it reflects in your daily behavior.

Higher or Lower self-esteem

Indeed, depending on the high or lowness of your self-esteem in certain areas of your live, you will act, respond and behave differently in that particular situation. Meaning: depending on where you are in your perception on the scale of your self-worth for that particular area, you will have lower or higher self-esteem. Just to illustrate what I want to point out, let me quickly jot down some examples of behavior or thought processes of high and low self-esteem.

High self-esteem

• You are secure about who you are and have confidence in your abilities to execute any given task
• You allow yourself to show your true feelings to others in an appropriate way
• You don’t have intimacy problems in relationships
• You are able to recognize and take pride in yourself for your achievements in life
• You are easily able to forgive yourself for mistakes and also forgive others

Low self-esteem

• You often lack belief in yourself and you are very insecure to execute certain tasks
• You might have problems showing and accepting intimacy in relationships
• You are afraid of letting your true feelings show and are constantly checking your surroundings to identify how you are supposed to react
• You don’t recognize and give yourself credit for your accomplishments most of the time.
• You have the inability or difficulties to forgive yourself or others
• You structurally resist to change at every opportunity possible

Self-esteem measurement

Now, of course there is a needle on the scale of self-esteem and the above examples are descriptive in cases where the needle mark is near 0 (for low) or near 10 (for high).  The challenge is to get that needle to swing towards the higher numbers in every area and you will feel more at ease in any situation. Now again, the amount of self-esteem is directly connected with where you are on your path to further developing your self-worth.

Developing your self-worth

 There are plenty of ways in which you can boost your self-esteem and change to a more positive and healthy outlook about yourself, here are some tips for developing and boosting your self-worth.

• Don’t take other people’s criticism to hard and let it touch your heart. Instead listen to what they are saying and learn from it as they will often critique your behavior and not you as a person.
• Take some time out for yourself every day, meditate briefly, look inside yourself and realize all the good points of the previous day you did and pad yourself on the back. Imagine changing, if any, less positive actions you did and see yourself act differently in the future.
• Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish.
• Do something every day that you enjoy, such as taking a walk in the sunshine, soaking in a bubble bath, or talk to that favorite person of yours.
• Never deprive yourself of something you enjoy. If you know you shouldn’t be doing it, then do it anyway and stop chastising yourself about it, unless it would be unhealthy or this point is the only thing you do.
• Talk in a positive way to yourself, repeat affirmations to chase away all of the negative thoughts and feelings.

These small points will build up your self-worth and enhance your self-esteem slowly but steadily and you will improve significantly over time.

Have a conscious day and today especially a “be conscious on your self-worth day.”

Filip De Pessemier